The slightest chink
Of soothing light,
Seeps into my cave;
But as I stare I think
In the darkness of my night,
Of the things beyond I crave.

Sometimes voices whisper inside my head,
And in chaos echo things earlier said,
INTERNAL VOICES
Sometimes thoughts split from my mind,
And leave the squalor of its insanity behind.
THOUGHT BLOCKING
Sometimes my train of thought derails,
As into confusion their path trails.
FORMAL THOUGHT DISORDER
Sometimes in my mind's eye I see,
Lifelike visions revealed to me,
CLOSED-EYE VISUALS
Sometimes reality trembles around me,
As it were on the brink of falling apart.
DEREALIZATION
Sometimes space seems to dissolve into boundlessness
Unraveling into the infinity of the cosmos
MACROPSIA
Sometimes I am bereft of all free will,
For the least decision far too ill.
ABULIA
Sometimes I desire nothing but merely to sit,
And just stare into the fire and brimstone of this pit.
AVOLITION
Sometimes I cannot move, as though already dead,
My body frozen solid in utter dread.
CATATONIC STUPOR
Sometimes the pain makes me grimace, gasp, wail,
Like a madman to squirm, writhe, gibber, flap and flail.
CATATONIC EXCITATION
Sometimes in my deepest despair
I burst out laughing as one delirious,
Finding nothing on earth to be more hilarious.
INAPPROPRIATE AFFECT

Sometimes there is nowhere to find even the least relief or rest,
And every single second anywhere on Earth becomes a terrible test.
ANXIETY
Sometimes I scream at the top of my lungs,
Everything close at hand flung,
with all my might, against the walls.
ANGRY OUTBURSTS
Sometimes the least sound pierces my ears,
And penetrates my mind until it sears me.
HYPERACUSIS
Sometimes in my daydreams I beat and kill
Everyone around me, till piles of corpses hill
MURDEROUS FANTASIES
Sometimes the whole world within me is on fire,
Burning in the infernal apocalypse of my ire.
DESTRUCTIVE FANTASIES
Sometimes in my mind I die a hundred deaths,
Ever detesting the sound of my breath.
SUICIDAL IDEATION
Sometimes I slash myself to pieces a hundred times over,
Relishing in the masturbation of my own mental torture.
SELF-HATRED
Sometimes I curse myself to the deepest hell's fate,
Swallowed by the maddening whirlpool of infinite hate.
SELF-DESTRUCTION
Sometimes I feel beneath the sewage in a cesspool
A bane to the world, worthless but as an object of ridicule.
LOW SELF-ESTEEM
Sometimes I grip the knife and dig into my flesh
To feel just something, to free the anguish,
AUTOMUTILATION
Sometimes my soul is devoid of every feeling
But the screaming emptiness of simple, hideous nothing.
EMPTINESS
Sometimes there is nothing at all inside me,
And I merely watch as life goes by without me.
EMOTIONAL FLATTENING
Sometimes I mourn, for all my pain, to find no tears,
My sorrow thus locked inside, putrescent for years.
BLUNTED AFFECT
Sometimes it seems that I do not exist at all,
My existence naught but the ghost of a dream's downfall.
DEPERSONALIZATION
Sometimes I lose my way in the darkness of evil reverie,
To find no way back, from the agonies of another galaxy.
ABSORBED DAYDREAMS
Sometimes it seems matter is but part of my own psyche,
The world but a dream I made to control as a deity.
EGO DEATH
Sometimes all things around me seem living beings,
And I can but show consideration for their feelings.
EGO SPLITTING
Sometimes I flinch at the sight of another human,
Swallowed by suspicions of what might happen.
SOCIOPHOBIA
Sometimes I live in fear of persecution,
Bracing myself as I await my execution.
PARANOIA
Sometimes I travel to the deepest depths of hell,
Yet alive the tale to tell.

When awareness arises again,
Poised to stand against the dark
When like a ghost the fog is dispelled,
And blinding light rises once more
When divinity swirls through the mind
And it gets lost in its world of many worlds
When it reaches out for liberation
In the sanctuary of the endless
When its currents tear apart all illusions
And thought perishes in terror
When the soul mingles with energies
Of every corner of the cosmos
When it touches the light of the stars
To burst within with their flame
When it struggles with the interminable
And ever recurring tides of existence
When it tumbles again into its depths
Unable to bear its titanic weight
When on and on the waves expand
Till all within is enveloped
When with that fierce cold glaring
All things are glowing from within
When it finds the heartless mercy,
Of a single frozen moment.